What Matters
by demolina209
Summary: When sitting in a pool of your lover's blood, anything that ever happened seems meaningless. Especially an argument. Based on Swag Turtles and Street Punks AUs Swag and Caesar owned by Hashiree, Street Punks owned by SirConcon on Deviantart


_Why does everything matter?_

Raph walked down the street with his hands jammed deep into his pockets. The rain slick sidewalk soaked his shoes, but despite their price tag he really couldn't care less. His breath puffed out of his mouth in thick clouds in the cold air before floating away and disappearing. The steam from his mouth paled in comparison to the steam rolling in his head. It had been hours but he was still pissed. They say that the people closest to you are the ones that can hurt you the worst, make you the angriest. No fact ever spoken spoke more truth than that in Raph's case. Especially when it came to Swift.

He fell hopelessly in love with the blue masked kleptomaniac, and despite the childish attitude of the Leo-look alike, Raph couldn't help but want to devote his entire life to him. So much so that he had agreed to raise an adopted child with him. Little Caesar was Raph's world. The reason he went to work every day, but Swift was the reason Raph woke up. Just the thought of his face next to Raph's on the pillow beside him every day inspired him to open his eyes.

Raph snarled from deep in his gut at the thought of that same face, twisted into an angry scowl while screaming at him at the top of his lungs. Right now Raph wanted to punch that face over and over, but he wouldn't do that. Not to Swift. Not to Caesar. Not to himself.

The argument was petty as most arguments between couples are, but the words spoken in the heat of the moment were far from petty or easily ignored.

 _Several Hours Earlier…._

"Raph have you lost your mind?!"

Swift's voice bounced off of the walls and echoed throughout the Punk crib, rattling in Raph's brain with the intensity of an angry hornet trapped in a tiny jar. Raph took in a breath and walked from the kitchen to the living area where his small family was sitting. Their adopted son, Caesar, barely a year old, sat upright on a soft blanket surrounded by various books and toys. Swift was on his knees grasping a Hot Wheels car in his fist as if it had tried to strike his precious marshmallow son.

Swift's gaze turned to Raph with a fire burning in his eyes that Raph recognized far too well. Time to argue.

"What is it Swift?"

"You gave out ONE year old baby a Hot Wheels car?! He can choke! Are you out of your mind?! Do you WANT him do keel over right here in the middle of the floor!?" As he spoke, or yelled, Swift swung the car in his fist like a monster with a real car in his hands about to smash it.

Raph ran a hand down his face. He truly wasn't in the mood for this. Leo was constantly on his ass about the finances, two of the recording studio clients were demanding more recording time _and_ more pay, he had a one year old child to take care of, and he hadn't had a full night's sleep in days. He didn't have the patience to deal with Swift's nit-picking.

With as much patience as he could possibly muster, Raph drew in a breath through his nose and faced his furious lover.

"Swift, it's a big truck, he can't fit it into his mouth, and he's fine."

This wasn't the answer that Swift was looking for apparently. He rose to his feet fast.

"And how would you know that? You've never seen him do it? You've barely seen him do _anything_ because you're _never_ doing what you're _supposed_ to do: _taking care of him_!"

With every emphasized word, Swift jabbed a finger into Raph's chest. Each touch was a hammer strike to the fragile composure that Raph had. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore. His composure shattered and he snapped.

Raph's eyes ignited with fury. With a loud roar of rage Raph pulled up his hands and shoved Swift as hard as he possibly could in the chest. The only thing that saved Caesar from being crushed by Swift's falling body was Swift's fine reflexes. Swift pivoted on the ball of his foot and turned, falling hard onto his side besides Caesar.

Raph was seeing everything tinged red. How dare Swift even say that. Raph advanced on Swift, ignoring the scared whimpers of his son who had curled his little arms around his daddy's arm. Swift sat up slowly. Raph expected to see rage in his eyes, he had braced for an attack, but instead, he saw… fear?

Raph's rage drained away as soon as it had appeared as he watched Swift gently push Caesar protectively behind him while maintaining a fierce stare on Raph.

Fierce, piercing ocean eyes stared at him, and Raph found he couldn't move. He couldn't believe he had just laid his hands on Swift. He had never in all of his life hurt anyone he cared about, and yet, there he was, standing over his very world as the aggressor.

He didn't want to look into those eyes anymore. He didn't want to face his own guilt and weakness. So he walked out.

 _Present_

Another sigh left Raph's lips as he continued down the street, further and further away from the crib, and away from those piercing ocean blue eyes that accused him. Feared him. Raph figured he should turn around. Apologize. Beg forgiveness. But he couldn't. Not right now, he just couldn't get that look Swift gave him out of his head.

Raph rounded another corner, ignoring the light drizzle of rain that had begun to fall on him. It was dark enough for the streetlights to go on now, but the crib was in such a shady area, the lights never reached far enough. Raph wasn't scared of the dark. Right now he was just scared of the reflection he saw in Swift's eyes. Scared of what he saw and scared that he didn't know how to fix it.

Bright lights illuminated the sidewalk where Raph walked in bright light as a car turned the same corner Raph now walked. He didn't pay any attention to it at first, but the low hum of the engine screamed to some instinct inside of him that something was wrong. He turned his head slowly, seeing the pitch black window of the SUV roll down before he saw the briefest flash of metal.

He couldn't move fast enough. Once the metal appeared it was over and he knew it, the only thing he could do was brace and wait. There were three loud pops that rang out in the night, bouncing off of the walls and aggravating that damn hornet in the jar of Raph's head. A jarring force slammed into Raph's chest, sending him into the concrete, though he could swear it was bigger and heavier than any bullet. The car and shooter were gone before Raph even hit the ground.

Raph laid still for a moment, eyes squeezed shut. He waited for the pain to hit, but it never did. The only thing he noticed was a warm, heavy weight on his chest. Slowly, Raph peeled his eyes open. Instantly, he regretted it as he stared into ocean blue eyes.

"Swift."

It was barely a breath but it seemed to echo in the empty alleyway. A slow smirk appeared on Swift's face as he whispered hoarsely.

"M-made it."

Raph slowly sat up, pulling Swift into his lap, resting his head in the crook of his elbow. His free hand flew to the bullet hole that oozed blood directly under Swift's collarbone. Right above the protection of his plastron.

"Swift! What the hell are you doing out here?! Why did you do that?!" Raph was in a frenzy. His entire universe was imploding right in front of him and he couldn't think, couldn't process the information that his senses were sending him. He and Swift shook in unison in the cold of the rain yet the rain's cold was barely the problem.

"Y-you're not…poetic…Raphie." Swift smirked again, a thick trail of blood ran down his chin.

Raph could hate that smirk. That gorgeous smirk that he had fallen in love with, right now he could hate it. Raph's blood coated hand shot to his pocket, but he swore loud with an anguished roar when he remembered he left his phone at the crib. His attention shifted back to Swift, still refusing to look into those eyes. He was scared of what he'd see.

"Where's your phone?"

Swift shook his head once and barely coughed, more blood dribbled down his chin, making Raph wince and curse as he pulled Swift closer to him, wrapping his arms completely around his body in an effort to warm him up.

"I'll have to carry you back…" Raph murmured, pressing his mouth to Swift's paling and clammy forehead.

Swift nodded once and wrapped an arm around Raph's neck as Raph's arms looped under his legs. Raph felt Swift shudder and groan in pain as he lifted him. The reaction was enough to scare Raph senseless. Swift was a loud complainer. The lack of response wasn't good. Nothing about this situation was good, but Raph wanted to believe that it was okay, that his one and only love in the whole world was going to die for him.

Raph took off as fast as he could towards the crib. He tried to ignore the waterfall of blood that rained down his arms and legs and tried as hard as he could to focus on running. Getting to the crib. Getting Swift to Rebel to be patched up. Getting Swift back to their son. Raph cursed his wandering mind as he noticed he was miles away from the crib. Miles and Swift was getting quiet. Swift was never quiet. He considered flagging down a car, hotwiring one, _anything_ , but the streets were empty. So he ran.

He could feel Swift's blood pooling his his shoes now. He tried to ignore it. His entire universe centered on the faint beating of Swift's heart under his palm. That was the only thing he needed to think of. Not a thing else.

"Raphie,"

The sound was barely a whisper but Raph heard it, clear as day, and it tore his heart apart. Stole his resolve from his body and froze him, stopping him in the middle of a full sprint. He couldn't run anymore. He had to look. Slowly, Raph turned his eyes down. The ocean blue eyes were pale now, just as pale as the skin of his lover's body, looking up at him. Locking him where he stood. Completely destroying anything that remained of his hope.

Slowly, Raph sunk to his knees, coming to rest in a small puddle of blood. A long trail of it led behind him. Every step he'd taken to get to that point was marked by a trail of blood and tears. Swift shifted slightly in Raph's grip and Raph pulled him closer. Raph's eyes were filled with water, he tried blinking it away but it kept returning, running down his face in a flood of warm liquid. Damn the rain.

Raph's blood soaked hand tightly gripped Swift's, who returned the grip with a slight squeeze of his own. At first, he couldn't pull himself to look at those eyes, but now he couldn't look away. He was scared of what would happen if he looked away. He'd lose himself. Those eyes were his anchor. The only thing keeping him attached to the world. To his sanity.

One last time, that damn smirk appears on Swift's face. Raph leans close, barely a breath away. He begged. Begged and pleaded with god, Swift, himself, anyone in the universe. No one answered him. No one but Swift- His beginning and his end.

"Love you,"

The whisper was final, taking everything that ever was with it as it disappeared in a puff of white vapor from Swift's bloody lips into the night sky.

Raph couldn't stop staring. He couldn't look away, he couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. He just stared at Swift's closed eyes, slightly open mouth, and serene face, like he would pounce up and demand love and snuggles from his Swag Lover.

No one heard Raphael's screams. He didn't even hear himself.

Nothing meant anything anymore.


End file.
